In the summer of 2003 my father in-law died two days after we had just spent the week with him and his wife, 2000 miles away. My wife and I were barely unpacked when we returned to Spokane Washington for his funeral. One day after we arrived; In the afternoon following my father in-laws funeral that morning I received a phone call from my office--- someone was trying to reach me and wanted to talk to me ASAP!

As a clinician, and a researcher whose articles were on clinical issues I was used to being called and being asked for input, and so without hesitating I took the phone out to the patio and called an office in New York. Once I was connected to the party I was calling I heard the words “I found you on the internet and have read parts of your books and I think you can help me.” I could immediately sense that this was no ordinary call for advice—this was likely a crisis. No one had ever called me and said “oh by the way doctor, I’ve read your work…”

The caller, an executive with the New York Power Authority was Louise Morman, and her description of her mother’s condition was so clear and so compelling that I broke all of my own rules about calls such as these. My first rule is, never give specific, personal advice. That one is pretty obvious—if you haven’t seen the older person there is no way you can give specific advice. My second rule is never to violate the first rule.

It was something about Louise and her depth of frustration and the excellent case presentation she shared. “Louise” I heard myself saying, “Your description of your mother fits with a syndrome called delirium”. Next I heard myself saying, “of course I will talk to your mother’s doctor” (a small hospital in rural Ohio). This I did. I actually introduced delirium to the Doctor and gave him citations and references (which by the way Louis had already read).

This began Dorothy’s (Louise’s mother) recovery. There were many other incidents and people who, over many months, were to come to Dorothy’s aid and who were far more responsible for her total recovery than I. Looking back, I see that what I did was tell Louise not to give up trying or give up hope and she did not. Louise brought her mother back to life, from being someone “zoned out and staring at the ceiling” in the summer of 2003, to an independent and vibrant woman months later.

Louise and I became friends and I have realized over the years what an outstanding gerontologist she is!!! She loves older people and knows them well. I have never before or since broken my rules—and I definitely do not regret breaking them the summer Louise called my office looking for “the author of those books”.

Peter A. Lichtenberg, Ph.D.
Director of the IOG
Professor of Psychology, Psychiatry and Behavioral Neuroscience & Physical Medicine & Rehabilitation, Wayne State University